Yoga in a New York minute

I went to Hot Yoga aka Bikram yoga in Iowa for the first time with Nic last week. We were both Bikram virgins. I scoped it out before she got there and we decided we would try it. I've been itching to do HotYoga and she loves Yoga so here we go. 94 degrees and 50 % humidity for a 75 minute "beginner" class. We bring towels, water, and a mat as instructed. The place is lovely and clean. The owners are super nice and patient. I love the teacher and she gives us modifications to make the poses easier for our first class. It is definitely challenging but I'm ready to go again soon. I loved it. The next day I head to NY on an impromptu road trip to visit my Grandpa who is in the hospital. Even though I'm going to see my Pops I want to make sure I take care of myself too while I'm there. Soooooooo I decide Hot Yoga it is! I mean I loved it and I wanted to share the experience with my cousin(s). We are all going to be healed and happy and healthy. Obvi! So I recruit cousin Nic to find out the details. It's in Yorktown, it's affordable for first timers, and ALL the classes are beginner. Hooray. Sign me up. This class is 90 minutes but I can handle it. We walk in and the teacher takes our money and says Ok here are the rules (which are easy) to follow and then she says I will let you know when you can drink water. She'll say "it's Party Time." so fuuun. I can tell soon after that things are gonna be different here. The people are very serious. Serious NY Bikram yoga folk. The instructor does not turn off the florescent lights and there are giant windows facing the parking lot. Not serene. The craziest part was that the instructor never stopped talking. I actually don't think she took a breath. It was like she was auctioning off the poses.My cousy took a sip of water because it's 104 degrees and she's thirsty. The teacher says it's not time and Nic kept drinking and I was thinking I got your back Nicole drink up. I thought about walking out a few times because really it was too intense.I am fluent in intense I recoognize the smell. I modified some of the poses the way the Iowa instructor showed me and this freak was like your not getting the benefits that way. I wanted to give her a benefit right in the kisser. Exhale inhale Exhale. We got done with the class and I was going to wait to hear my cousin's thoughts without jading them and then I was just liked I hated her I'm sorry I can't go back. If I want to hear non stop voices rambling for hours on end I can just listen to myself. So maybe some things are better in Iowa. When you want more peace and quiet and darkness in your bikram class Iowa City is for you. Namaste y'alls guys. Party time. O O O speaking of effing party time the bitch (yes I did) drank when it was NOT said time and it took all my zenness not to scream it's NOT PARTY TIME IT'S NOT PARTY TIME. But I'm totally over it and that is obvious. Plus the glowy skin is worth ever second.